Today's married couples may be well advised to emulate some of the successful strategies of their happily married parents and grandparents –from maintaining same-sex friends to even sleeping in separate beds! “Baby boomers and younger generations got sold on the psychology of “being authentic” which unfortunately has given rise to assume permission to speak and treat each other with disrespect."
Two recently reissued books originally published in 1913; “Don’ts for Husbands and Don’ts for Wives” contain hundreds of tried-and-true tips for a happy marriage. Advice for wives includes such tidbits as; “don’t let him have to search the house for you after his day’s work. Listen for his latch-key and meet him on the threshold,” and “don’t bother your husband with chatter if he is tired.” And for husbands; “don’t hesitate to mention the fact when you think that your wife looks exceptionally nice,” and “don’t scowl or look severe; cultivate a pleasant expression.” Of course, all this goes without saying, life is a two way street. So for our initial Retro Relationship Tip:
#1 Reinstate Civility“Please, “ “thank you”, “pardon me”, “may I”; these seem to be phrases that seem to have all be vanished from our present day vocabularies. Unfortunately, especially with our loved ones. Extending to your partner the same courtesy you would a stranger. When speaking to your spouse trying more sweetness and tenderness, saying things lovingly. Use a combination of old-school civility as well as modern frankness. Employing respectfulness.
Psychotherapist and author Tina Tessina, PhD, concurs; politeness is like a lubricant for our daily interactions; it makes everything go more smoothly.”
Joyce Morley-Ball, EdD, counselor advises; “Show her that chivalry is not dead; Pull out her chair, open the door for her, help her put on her coat, give her your coat when it is cold outside. These simple acts of affection shows that she is important and there is a level of respect for her.”
There is a plethora of wisdom we can gain from graciousness and gentleness of previous generations especially with the technology and savvy of today’s marriages.
#1 Reinstate Civility“Please, “ “thank you”, “pardon me”, “may I”; these seem to be phrases that seem to have all be vanished from our present day vocabularies. Unfortunately, especially with our loved ones. Extending to your partner the same courtesy you would a stranger. When speaking to your spouse trying more sweetness and tenderness, saying things lovingly. Use a combination of old-school civility as well as modern frankness. Employing respectfulness.
Psychotherapist and author Tina Tessina, PhD, concurs; politeness is like a lubricant for our daily interactions; it makes everything go more smoothly.”
Joyce Morley-Ball, EdD, counselor advises; “Show her that chivalry is not dead; Pull out her chair, open the door for her, help her put on her coat, give her your coat when it is cold outside. These simple acts of affection shows that she is important and there is a level of respect for her.”
There is a plethora of wisdom we can gain from graciousness and gentleness of previous generations especially with the technology and savvy of today’s marriages.
It is my aim, and desire these next 12 months to reignite the passion of the promises made.
Colossians 3:12-17 New International Version (NIV)
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility,gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility,gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
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